Now and then you’ll run across a quiz designed to help you decide on the perfect dog breed for you and/or your family. Sometimes I take a stab at them just for laughs. They mean well. But let’s face it, there are a lot of breeds (I believe the AKC was up to 194 recognized at last count) and many of them share the same characteristics. So often the questions tend to be rather general. One queried ‘How often would you be willing to groom your dog?’ The choices were 1. Daily, 2. Weekly, 3. Monthly. Doesn’t the answer hinge on the breed as well as your enthusiasm for grooming? Wouldn’t an Afghan or Poodle coat demand more dedication than one of the hairless breeds (though I understand some of the latter suffer from acne)? There are smooth coated breeds who can look pristine after a once-over-lightly with a damp washcloth. Then there are the large and heavily coated breeds like the OES, whose full grooming sessions require at least a lunch break and one or more coffee breaks to get through. And finally, there’s the dog itself, who may love or hate being groomed. My male, Declan, gets groomed daily because he insists on it. Following dinner, he puts his front paws on the grooming table and lets me know it’s time. Then he stretches out on one side and waits for me to wield brush and comb. When that side is mat-free, he flips over so I can get to the other side. Meanwhile, his little sister, Lacey sits by the grooming table anxiously awaiting her turn. She’d push him off the table if she could.
The questionnaire also touched on the matter of shedding, asking if you would mind heavy shedding, light shedding or would prefer a non-shedding breed. Well, there’s heavy shedding and then there’s heavy shedding. Some short coated breeds shed copious amounts of short, stiff hairs that embed themselves in the sofa, your socks and your scrambled eggs. Conversely, our Beardies bestow dust bunnies on the floor that clump together and gather up easily. Come to think of it, shedding does seem to be a subject which concerns prospective owners. A lady approached me at ringside at a show and enquired about my dog and the breed in general, finally asking, “They don’t shed, do they?”
“Yes ma’am,” I told her. “But I was talking to another owner and she said they don’t shed,” she protested. “She lied,” I told her politely, “I have six Beardies and furry floors.” Looking puzzled, she asked, “but do they shed if you only have one?” I kept a straight face. But it wasn’t easy. “Ma’am, where ever did you get the idea that shedding is a group activity?”
But I digress. Another question is likely to concern the amount of exercise, both yours and the dog’s. As someone once remarked, “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” So the first question will be if you indulge in jogging or hiking on a regular basis. Or do you enjoy a brisk walk of a mile or more? Or would you prefer to let your dog have the run of the back yard while you watch tv? Notice that none of the questions mention weather. Jogging loses its charm in a torrential downpour. Even a brisk walk is no fun in a blizzard. Actually, brisk isn’t even possible in a blizzard. Even walking is a chore. Slogging is more like it.
Activity level? Do you prefer the Energizer Bunny, a couch potato or something in between? How about size? the quiz asks. While toy or small breeds may be conveniently sized for apartment living and require less exercise than their larger brethren, some may be more vocal and active than desired in close quarters. You’ll know when the people in the next apartment start banging on the walls. Conversely, many large and giant breeds tend to be more laid back and save the thunderous barks for worthwhile causes. A lady with a Kuvasz revealed she lived in a city apartment that only allowed ‘under the arm’ dogs, according to the rental agreement. “And you can see,” she said, “when I stand and hold out my arm, she fits under it perfectly.” And that’s another question the quiz will toss at you. Where do you live: an apartment, house, rural area? Supposedly, this makes a difference though dogs are generally adaptable. When I first viewed my present home some 30 years ago, my mind processed “four fenced acres, on a dead-end road, horses and cows for neighbors, I’ll take it!” Several generations of Beardies, Briards and Lowchen have agreed with my choice. At least none of them have tried to leave home.
After tabulating all your answers to the quiz, you’ll be provided with a breed or breeds which should suit you to a tea. However, it appears the suggested breeds will generally be well known and fairly popular. Is that because they’re more easily obtainable? Surely there must be potential owners who would be well suited to an Azawakh, Kooikerhondje or Xoloitscuintli. Are they overlooked because they might be more difficult to find, spell or pronounce?
After taking one of these quizzes on the internet the other day, it came back with “We can’t find a breed suitable for you” and suggested I change some of my answers. Don’t bother, folks, I found the ideal breed for me over 50 years ago and I’ve been living happily with them ever since.
— alice bixler, Bearded Collie Club of America.
